Fear

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The first one was in my neighbor’s yard across the street – the Biden/Harris sign looking like someone had taken a bat to it. As I drove through Swarthmore, following Yale Ave to Swarthmore Ave., I saw dozens of Biden/Harris signs all showing evidence of– what? I imagined a carload (or caravan?) of angry, ignorant white men, their misplaced rage simmering, waiting for word from their inspirational leader, Donald Trump. They are “standing by.”

It reminded me of an incident at Wawa a few weeks ago when another customer freaked out that I, a white- haired, white woman, was wearing a Black Lives Matter mask. Then there’s the house on Crum Creek Rd. in Upper Providence, the short-cut from Media to Lawrence Park, where the road turns right and the farmhouse on the left has full-size cow sculptures grazing on the front lawn. Across the street, a rather ramschackle property sports next to the road four 4’ x’8 plywood panels where the owner has written in paintbrush the top ten most popular right-wing conspiracy theories from “Dems kill babies” to some vague reference to Jews. When I stopped to take a picture, a man came out of the house, shouting something at me, something metallic in his right hand. I avoided eye contact and slowly moved on.  Was it a gun? Is he part of one of PA’s fifty-plus militia groups who, before the virus, held one of their statewide monthly meetings at the Sproul Bowling Lanes in Marple?

Our lives and our futures are at stake with the increased presence of armed militia men acknowledged by authorities as the biggest terrorist threat to America.  Their plans to kidnap and kill the woman governor of Michigan, plus the range of irrational threats from right-wing conspiracy theories and the misinformation and lies spread by the propaganda media, and ignoring the facts of science and reality, are harming so much that was and could still be America. Apathy is not acceptable.

I started to write a poem based on Trump’s policies (or lack thereof) being responsible for not preventing a thousand (or more) unnecessary deaths.  I considered for the title, “Typhoid Trump: Mass murderer in chief”whose actions suggested depraved indifference to human life, enough for a warrant for manslaughter in most states.   Thinking about the violence behind the Biden-Harris sign bashing, I knew that the poem would exist only in my head.

I am afraid, very afraid…

Judith Trustone
Swarthmore, PA
Judith@Sagewriters.org

What does “Black Lives Matter” mean?

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The other day I stopped at the Wawa on Fairview Rd. near Swarthmore for my morning mocha cappuccino. I was wearing my “Black Lives Matter” mask that I’d gotten at the nearby Dollar Store. Next to me at the ordering screens was an older white woman with a mask dangling from one ear. When she finished, she turned toward me and when she saw the mask on my white face with my white hair, she gasped in horror, shaking her head no! no! no! and sending such a wave of hatred toward me that I felt it like a punch in the gut. Her loathing was so strong it seemed to take all her will power not to spit on me!

While over my eight plus decades I’ve been next to friends, colleagues, protesters, fellow activists and neighbors more times than I could ever count as they were subjected to subtle and vicious attacks of racism, I could only protest; my voice was usually ignored unless I wrote about it publicly. I’ve seen racism in politics and policies for most of my life, and have seen our distorted history books and the systemic racism legislated to create the horrific inequities that make America the white supremacist country that it is today, so well-delineated by Michelle Alexander in her book, The New Jim Crow. I took some deep breaths and looked this terrified woman in the eye with compassion. What could I possibly say to her? I caught myself wondering if she had a gun…maybe in her car? I try my best not to think in these ways.

Feeling powerless, I grabbed my coffee and left, shaken at the thought of how people of color are subjected to this kind of barrage of personal, political and legal hatred every moment of their lives, where once they step out into white America, their bodies are no longer their own. Yes, institutionalized racism in every aspect of life does cause health problems in people of color!

A couple of days later, I was talking with my son, Eric, who lives across from Herbert Best VFW post 928, a headquarters to law enforcement motorcycle clubs in Folsom. He said that on Saturday, a gathering of about 75 protesters were to gather in support of Black Lives Matter. When the got to the park, they were blocked by about 50 bikers, armed with Trump signs and a Confederate flag, protesting involvement of overpaid athletes who “took a knee against police brutality”, their scary visages threatening violence. No mention of guns was made in a brief article in the Delaware County Daily Times. There is a video of truckers “burning rubber” surrounding demonstrators in black smoke.

The marches went around the edge of the park, continuing on to the municipal building at Rte. 320 and MacDade Blvd. where the bikers again blocked their entrance. Both groups ended at the Ridley Twp. police station where they apparently disbanded without further incidents.


What is it about the Black Lives Matter movement that evokes such fear and hatred and propensity for violence so close to the edges of our town, which for the most part hasn’t dealt with much more serious things than the theft of yard gremlins?

Why did my mask of support evoke such irrational fear in a woman who knew nothing about me, only that my skin and my hair were white? I confess for a moment I had a blip of prejudice crop up in me when I thought “She’s obviously a “Karen!” I wouldn’t let myself hold onto that thought, stomping it out of my head with some deep, releasing breaths. But I was still scared, and confess I was hesitant before I went out with that mask on again. But I did.

But who are these people? What fears have molded them into haters, killers, and supporters of a regime that is killing them through lack of a national plan to fight a virus that knows no politics. How have we come to this? And is there any way, considering who is in charge, of coming out of this violence and fear, and moving toward a new vision of a new America that works for ALL?


Judith Trustone, Co-Director
Global Kindness Revolution
Swarthmore
www.Trustonekindness.com

Becoming a Man by P. Carl

Aside

Review by Heather, a Incarcerated Trans woman

After reading how a Trans man suffers some of the same difficult issues a Trans woman goes through with family, friends, employers, and social groups it makes me now believe that they do have it just as hard.

I know during my transition I have lost family, friends and housing. While reading this story I laughed, cried, and felt exactly what he was feeling at times of questioning. I would recommend to sit down and read this book, whether you are Cisgender, Transgender or Androgynous.

I will share this book with all I know to enjoy.

From Doom & Gloom to a New Year’s Resolution

Aside

Book review of THE GLOBAL KINDNESS REVOLUTION
by Judith Trustone

EXCERPT:

…I discovered The Global Kindness Revolution: How Together We Can Heal Violence, Racism, and Meanness, the book by Judith Trustone, the award-winning author, activist, and filmmaker who spent decades dedicating her life to helping others; here interviewed by Jack Canfield, author of the Chicken Soup for the Soul book series, which sold over 70 million copies. 

Contemplations of a Convict
published by Sagewriters
by Anton Forde & Trevor Mattis

I met Judith, who now resides and writes from her home in Swarthmore, PA, at the Victorian Holiday two years ago—a salon-type Christmas party hosted by Henrik Eger, editor of Drama Around The Globe, an online theater and arts website for which I intern as an editorial assistant.

To read the full article, please visit: phindie.com
[independent coverage of Philadelphia theater and arts]

RABBIT WISDOM

by Judith Trustone

Recently I adopted a rescue cat, Fiona, my first pet since going condo twenty years ago. Adjusting to living again with a four-legged companion, I thought back on my long wonderful (and not so wonderful) life with pets.

Most memorable was Inky, my pet rabbit when I was about ten. He’d come into our family as a tiny Easter bunny who soon adjusted to being housebroken—he’d hop over to the door and just sit and stare at it when he needed to go, and once outside, he took care of business. He ran with the neighborhood dogs, who played with him gently, surprising us all. It was fun to watch him chasing after a giant Shnauzer as if he were a Great Dane.

When it was dinnertime, he came, as usual, when called. He was a most unusual rabbit.

One Sunday, a cousin I barely knew, for she was a grownup, came with her parents and her new fiancé’ to introduce him to our family. When they heard about Inky, they wanted to meet him. Inky was outside, playing with the pack. I went to the door and called him, and a few minutes later Inky came hopping up to the door. I picked him up and took him into the living room to the circle of eager-to-meet-him relatives.

Rabbits are generally believed to be lucky spirit animals; they are usually seen as carriers of good and fortunate news, heralds of good times, prosperity, wealth, health, long life and love.

The rabbit as well as the hare have been associated with moon deities and may signify rebirth or resurrection. They may also be symbols of fertility or sensuality. And successful marriage?

As I proudly presented him to each person, Inky looked carefully at each one, giving what seemed a serious scrutiny to each. He was a very thoughtful rabbit. They fawned over him, tentatively petting him and exclaiming over his size. He was a very big bunny.

When we came to the cousins fiancé, Inky stiffened in my arms and and suddenly sent a stream of urine into the fiancé’s lap. Embarrassed, my mom and I tried to clean him up with paper towels, apologizing profusely. Inky had never done such a thing before and we were shocked.

The wedding went on as planned. I don’t remember if we were invited. But Inky must have sensed something, for the marriage didn’t last, ending just two years later in divorce.

If only they’d listened to Inky.

The lesson: ALWAYS LISTEN TO THE RABBIT, ESPECIALLY IN MATTERS OF THE HEART!

Women Who Never Give Up, Inc.

The BREATHE Act—a 21st Century Black Movement Civil Rights Bill, drafted by Electoral Justice Project of the Movement for Black Lives (M4BL). Essie Justice Group, as a member organization of the M4BL ecosystem, is co-leading the team advancing this bill, rooted in our mission to address the harms of mass incarceration. The M4BL network has created a bill that reflects the increasingly loud mandate from the people: defund the policing and prisons that are killing us and invest in our health, wellness, and communities.

Read more…

Award winning author, activist and filmmaker

Award winning author, activist and filmmaker, Judith Trustone is the founder and director, with people in prison and others, of Sagewriters, which, in addition to advocating for human rights, has published a dozen books of literary and social merit about America’s justice system. Sagewriters grew out of her creative writing classes in prisons.

Her documentaries have been shown on public television and at universities nationally. In response to perceiving that America is becoming an increasingly meaner and more fearful, violence dominated culture, after 54 years of human rights advocacy, she is determined to work toward a more civil and compassionate society through the Global Kindness Revolution which originated with her work with anti-violence prisoners and their families concerned about violence on both sides of prison walls. Together, with the leadership of Lifer Patrick Middleton, Ph.D., Tyrone Werts and Paul Perry, all of whom have been in prison for over 30 years, they are designing Kindness Circles behind bars as well as the Virtual Kindness Circles (see free download) which enables the more than 2,000 Sagewriters nationally to take leadership roles in the Kindness Revolution. To date they’ve distributed more than 50,000 Kindness Cards globally with funds and design by prisoners and advocates.

Judith is leading Community Kindness Circles every month in Swarthmore, PA’s town hall in addition to in shelters, organizations and corporations. For those in prison or in other locations, she’s created the Virtual Kindness Circle where every Saturday at 4:00 pm eastern, where participants sit in quiet and visualize their interconnectedness with each other. Her passion for justice through social change and art grew out of her 14 year apprenticeship to Sun Bear, a Native American medicine person from the Ojibway tribe, her 35 years as a social worker, her many published works and her success as a workshop leader which place a heavy emphasis on delight.

An creator of innovative programs for social change through art, she sees the Kindness Circles as a force for energizing compassion and healing for grass roots groups as well as elected officials and voters. She has been deemed an “Author Who Makes a Difference” by Infinity Publishing, “Peacekeeper of the Year” by the Delaware County, PA Peace Center, and was the recipient of the Leeway Foundation’s “Transformation Award” for women who use their art for social change.

The grandmother of twelve, she is currently working on a book about Kindness and invites you to send her your stories of Kind experiences. Be Sociable, Share!